Since delving into this world of self-employment and jumping feet first into the shark infested waters of social media, blogging and online marketing, I’ve learned A LOT.
The most significant realisation I have made so far is in understanding that I am not the only one doing this. That’s important because it means on the hard days, when I doubt myself and my vision, I am not alone. Equally, on the good days, when I want to share my enthusiasm, my sense of purpose and achievement, I am also not alone.
Why does that matter? Isolation is synonymous with loneliness, which can be defined as being physically alone or lacking in contact of some form with other people or in many cases when it comes to mental health, people can feel lonely because;
“EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE, THEY DON’T FEEL UNDERSTOOD OR CARED FOR.”
The isolation of working for yourself by yourself can be overwhelming. Personally I have found myself job searching in the middle of the night- not because I want another job but because I don’t feel like I can do this on my own. Knowing this is normal, and other people feel this way too, helps me to see my wobbles in confidence as part of the process rather than as some sort of failure.
I have been very lucky in my search for a band of ‘colleagues’ to have found people doing what I do in one way or another and all of us with our own daily struggles. I have searched them out, and they have searched me out, so we can be alone together, and travel the path alongside one another, picking each other up from time to time and celebrating successes large and small.
Some of these people have come from networking groups and events. Attending a weekly Network B2B group in Wakefield has helped me focus and given me courage at times, as well as friendly encouragement and support in many different forms.
I had felt very separate, I also believed everyone else had their sh*t together except me, but after that day I feel part of something, I have identified as an ‘influencer’, and I know that everyone else is also just fitting their business around their families and their health and making the best of it.
Influencing other people, whether that is via blogging, vlogging, Instagram-ing, You-tubing or tweeting, takes time, passion, dedication and a whole lot more of yourself than most are willing or able to give.
This post is mostly about business and social media influencing- but I’m sure the parallels are not lost on you.
For most situations in life, knowing we are not alone is essential to our wellbeing. At a vulnerable time, like during pregnancy, birth and the postnatal period, isolation makes us more susceptible to mental health difficulties. It is the reason why so many mum’s groups, parenting groups, birth month groups exist on social media, and why sites like netmums, mumsnet, baby centre etc are so well used.
Certainly, for me, after my traumatic birth I needed to know that I was not alone. I also needed to know that things could be different next time. I needed to not be alone in my grief, to be validated, to be understood, but also I needed to find hope in the stories of others who had travelled that path before me, to be the light at the end of my tunnel.
So, sharing stories of success and positivity are really important, they spread light for those starting out on their dark and scary path.
Sharing our challenges- our real life, gritty, ugly and beautiful, mental and physical and emotional challenges is arguably even more or at least equally valuable.
It is only with both that we can truly know that we are in this together, it is not a competition. Your success is my success and my success is yours, we can celebrate together, knowing just how far we had to travel to get here.
Here is my call to action;
Let’s keep sharing, the good, the bad and the ugly, for those alone in the middle of the night, or in a crowded room.
Let’s keep sharing for those who need to see that we survived this and so can they.
Let’s keep sharing for those who need to know what is possible and to give them hope.
And if you are not quite ready to share your story with the World, tell a friend, or a family member, a neighbour or a stranger- you never know the difference it could make.
And remember to like, comment and share the posts that you appreciate from your fellow social media influencer mums (or dads, or anyone), and support them.
