Taking off our masks altogether leaves us uncomfortably vulnerable, and although we don’t want to feel vulnerable, we can afford to show a glimpse of our true selves to those we care about, just so they know we are there, and to acknowledge that the mask exists.
So if we can’t remove the mask permanently, how about replacing it instead? Instead of wearing a protective mask that deflects the real issues by minimalising them, trivialising them, or plain ignoring them, we can choose to wear a protector (or superhero if you like) mask that gives us the strength to identify and fight the real issues, to speak and be heard. Perhaps to speak for those who do not have a voice or whose own self-doubt drowns out their cries.
We all have times when we need someone to speak for us.
We are still vulnerable, but in a different way, with a confidence that fighting for ourselves alone would not bring easily, because we seem to find it incredibly easy to give up on ourselves in a way that we couldn’t give up on our friends and loved ones.
By the way, this isn’t my idea. I’m not making claims that I have the answer to all the world’s problems. This is what I have seen happening since I entered the world of hypnobirthing. And not because it wasn’t already happening, but because I had never noticed it before.
Strong, capable, intelligent, incredible women, (not to say that men can’t be those things), broken in some way by life, but making life better for other people because of it. These women, and they are everywhere, have suffered greatly, in ways many could never imagine. They have all chosen to wear a new mask, a mask that protects others equally to, sometimes even in place of, themselves. Some of them are reading this, and I want to thank them, you. You lifted me up with your words and thoughts and actions, you gave me hope.
What do all these women have in common?
A love for humanity? Absolutely.
A desire for equity and justice? Without a doubt.
But most importantly, they realised, in no easy way, that they deserve more from life; that they are worth so much more than they ever imagined. And with that self-worth, that self-love, came the strength, tenacity and compassion to do all they could to prevent others from going through their pain, and to cradle in loving arms the ones for which it was already too late
I’m forging my new mask, because I’m tired of my old one; it left me feeling weak. It used to protect me but eventually all it did was hide me. My new mask makes me more vulnerable than I have ever been, because it really is me, but it also makes me stronger than I have ever been because it is real and it really matters.
My new mask says, “I am not ashamed that I am not ok. I have suffered, but no longer in silence.” It shouts, “YOU ARE NOT ALONE” from the rooftops and whispers “It will be ok” in the dead of night.
The self-doubt is still there, but it is quietened somewhat by self-worth. When I hear it say “You are not good enough” my self-worth answers back with “I deserve to be happy”.
We ALL deserve to be happy. Even when it is hard to be strong for yourself, it is easy to be strong for those who are vulnerable, afraid and alone; with their masks down, in all their human glory.
