Mirna’s Dream Birth

Mirna was sent my way by another client who also features on this blog, Read Lexi’s Pefect High-risk Homebirth. We talked on the phone and then came up with a plan, because we would have to work together online as we weren’t close enough to work in person. 12 hours is a long time to sit in front of a screen (it was 3 hour sessions not 12 all in one go!) but Mirna committed the time and we made it happen. So we’ve never met in real life, but it definitely feels like we have.

I’ve been so grateful that Mirna has generously shared the details of her experience with me, and here she shares her story with you, in the hope that it will reach someone else who needs to know that they can plan for the birth they deserve too.

Mirna says, “The most important thing I have learned is, not everything Drs say, unfortunately, is right or in your best interests.”

She also says, “Please don’t deprive yourself of this beautiful experience. You deserve to have a beautiful birth and to be in control of your own decisions.”

And now for the story of how Mirna arrived at her dream birth of baby Sultan.

“My first birth experience although not traumatic caused a lot of unnecessary complications. I was unable to follow the intuition of my body and I felt completely out of control. This pushed me to want to have a better experience the second time round. (My first birth my waters broke naturally, however I was told I needed to be induced as the contractions were not coming in strong enough. This therefore led to me requiring 2 attempts of the epidural even though this was against my desire, and me eventually giving birth naturally on the theatre table where I was taken for an emergency C-section) I felt the natural contractions were manageable however the contractions as a result of the hormone drip were unbearable and unnatural.”

“What I wanted for my second birth was a completely natural experience as I knew my body was capable of it. I wanted to understand what I was entitled to as I was being told I was not allowed a water birth due to my high BMI and me having Group B Strep.”

“Sheryl helped me navigate the medical system to understand what I was entitled to.” Mirna then made her wishes known to her midwife and made sure things were in place for when she was in labour- this is an important part of the story, turning up on the day in labour and then having to explain yourself at length is not helpful when it comes to physiological birth.

The visualisation exercise we did as part of the course

The last days of pregnancy

“I had a very smooth and positive pregnancy. I kept active throughout with a positive mindset. I was expecting to go into labour early just as I had with my first however I passed my due date and started becoming a bit anxious. I knew from the course I did with Sheryl that baby would only come when they’re ready and me doing all the old wives tales to ‘naturally’ induce labour may not help that much. I was listening to the hypnobirthing recordings a lot more during the last few days I was over my due date and going over my positive affirmations. I reminded myself ‘my body was doing a great job at keeping baby healthy’ , ‘baby will come when they are ready’. Watching a lot of positive birthing stories really helped too.”

Early signs of labour

“On day 40+3 I lost my mucus plug, I was so excited to see the first signs of labour. I knew it was any day now. On 40 + 4 I saw a bloody show. 22nd August at 4pm I had my first contraction. I was experiencing Braxton hicks last few weeks of my pregnancy but I knew these were the real things as I had already seen the first few signs of early labour which Sheryl had talked me through. I messaged Sheryl to let her know things were getting started for me and she very calmly put my mind at ease and supported me. To keep my mind off things and busy I started preparing the house by doing last minute clean-ups and ensuring our bags were ready to go should the time come. I had a nice hot shower and made sure my eldest was safe at his grandparents. I gave the birth centre a call and let them know my contractions were about 5-6 minutes apart lasting around 30 seconds. The midwife suggested I made my way in as this was my second child and things could escalate quickly. I was a bit reluctant to go in but I also felt safer being at the birth centre so we made our way there and arrived around 8:30pm. We arrived and they showed us to the birthing pool room which was dimly lit with fairy lights, quiet and serene. I felt at ease being there. During my course with Sheryl I knew I didn’t want to have too many vaginal examinations as this would just create unnecessary nervousness and expose to infections however I chose to have a VE upon arrival just to understand where I was roughly dilated but reminded myself whatever I was, it didn’t matter, things were heading in the right direction. I was expecting to be about 4-5cm at this stage so when the midwife told me I was only about 2cm dilated and my cervix was quite high I was slightly surprised. She suggested we go for a nice walk outside the hospital and come back in an hour. I was finding it difficult to walk at this stage but off we went. I was stopping every few steps for a contraction and along the walk the contractions were getting more and more intense. As it was a busy street I was feeling really embarrassed as I contracted in front of people and I felt like I just wanted to be back in my safe space in the birthing room so we made our way back after 45 minutes.”

 

Labour progresses, comfort measures and protecting the oxytocin

“At this point going back into the birthing room my contractions were very intense. I utilised the small sofa like cushions in the room to sit in a comfortable position on all fours and contract like this. Sheryl always taught me to follow my body and what felt natural to me and at this stage leaning over on pillows with my hips in the air was the most comfortable. My husband was offering me sips of water in between the contractions. I was holding on tight to my comb which I had on me since 4pm and used it to squeeze in between my palms every time a contraction came.”

“The digs the comb was creating on my palms distracted my body from the surges in my lower abdomen. At every contraction I asked my husband to push down on my lower back and hips in this position. The pushing sensation eased the pain, I chose my favourite hypnobirthing recording from Sheryl and had it on in the background. Every time a surge came I imagined a wave of sea water coming in like a big tide. This is a technique me and Sheryl worked on during the course and because it was ingrained into my subconscious through hypnobirthing this just came natural to me. As I imagined the tide coming in the fact that I knew the tide was going to wash out gave me the patience to hold through that surge as it approached.”

“Something I appreciated was the quietness of the room. The midwives were whispering and only speaking to me when necessary and in between contractions. I felt like I was able to maintain calmness and control from this as something that I found really distracting last time was all the lights of the labour room, the hustle and bustle of medical staff faffing around me wanting to monitor me and baby not giving me my space. I felt in control here and things were happening my way.”

“It reached a point where I needed something more now so I asked the midwife if I could get in the pool. They filled it up and prepared it for me as I got changed in a tank top and got into the warm pool. I leaned over the edge of the pool and after every other contraction the midwife asked if she could monitor baby’s heartbeat via the doppler which was less intrusive than a full on monitor tied on with a band throughout.”

“Something I talked through with Sheryl was that at my last birth I felt I was wired to a hundred wires and gadgets and this felt very unnatural and uncomfortable for me. One of these feeds was for antibiotics due to me testing positive for Group B Strep. During the course and her support throughout my pregnancy we talked how we could overcome this if I tested positive for it this time round. We talked about how I can request not to have the antibiotics feed throughout. How having the antibiotics would in no way mean I could not get a water birth that I wanted and that I was in control of how this played out. The midwives offered me the antibiotics and reassured me I could still be in the pool with the tube in my hand. This was an amazing result for me as the last time I was denied a water birth due to this. As soon as the antibiotics feed finished I asked them to disconnect it and remove it which was a lot more comfortable.”

Preparing to meet her baby

“The contractions were getting a lot more intense and close together now and it was around 10:30pm. What I appreciated with Sheryl was her talking me through what a contraction looks like in the cervix. She explained how the muscles contract up to help push the baby down. I remember imagining this inside my body at this stage and reassured my body that this pain was due to baby getting close and I would be meeting him any minute now. I had had no VE at this point anymore so didn’t know how far dilated I was but the midwives could tell I was getting closer from the noises I was making and how intense the contractions were. The midwife told me ‘baby’s going to be here any moment now’. I remember hearing this and thinking how? My waters haven’t even broken yet- I can’t be close. I asked the midwives if I would be able to feel the waters break even while in the pool, the reassured me I would feel a sensation.”

“After a couple more intense contractions I felt a loud pop and announced that my waters had broken. The next contraction the baby’s head emerged. I asked my husband to start recording as baby was coming. I shared this video with Sheryl later (Sheryl: it was amazing and I’m so grateful to have had it shared with me). I took deep breaths and waited for the next contraction to come so I could push the rest of the baby out. It came and they helped me place baby on my chest straight away for that precious skin to skin. I cried as I held my baby and heard him cry and take his first few breaths. I could see that lovely spread of hair on his head. The midwives held him up and we all confirmed he was definitely a baby boy. Baby boy Sultan born at 11:44pm on 22nd August. My second born I had waited so long to see, 5 years to conceive. He was beautiful. I asked the midwives for the injection for the placenta to be delivered quickly so they asked me to step out of the pool to give to me. As I stepped out the placenta literally dropped out and I didn’t even need the injection!” “As there was some blood loss I had to be checked over by the midwives. At this point my husband cut the cord and baby was taken to be checked over and weighed. Unfortunately, I did suffer a 3rd degree tear which had to be dealt with, but at that moment nothing mattered. I had delivered my baby naturally and had everything I had dreamed of. That water birth I envisioned with Sheryl and all the little details came together just as if I had written my own story before it happened. My determination to let my body take over and make this happen led me to this and I couldn’t be prouder of myself. I was offered gas and air early stages but I refused even that because it would make me drowsy and I wanted to be in control.”

 

Sum up your experience with 3 words

“Control: this is the one me and Sheryl worked on most as I did not feel in control in my first birth. In fact I felt very much controlled and this really frustrated me.

Comfortable: I made sure I was comfortable throughout. I made sure I was making every decision that was right for my body. My comfort came first.

Calm: those long controlled breathing exercises ensured I was calm from the first contraction. Everything escalated so quickly between 8pm and 11pm but it all felt so calm and controlled.”

 

Considering the impact the course had on your experience, complete the sentences below;

If I go on to have any more babies… I will use all the techniques I’ve been taught on this course again and hopefully have the same beautiful outcomes.

If I could go back in time and tell myself anything I would say… I can do this. I should believe in myself more. Any doubts I have, I will overcome them.

I am really proud of myself for… getting everything I deserved

I am really proud of my partner for… being such an amazing support. Throughout he remained calm and collected and observed my wishes throughout the birth.

Birth experiences are important because… they stay with you forever.

 

Is there anything else you would like to say?

“I honestly cannot recommend Sheryl enough. She helped me talk through my first birth and advocated for all my rights. She made sure I understood the system and what I am entitled to. She navigated me through all the details and assured me I could get the birth I wanted and it wasn’t a fairytale. She is so approachable and was checking on me throughout my pregnancy which I really appreciated. Although we never physically met it was as though she was with me every step of the way and I felt so much more confident having her with me.”