This story comes from Lexi, a very recent first time mum, thank you for allowing us to share this beautiful example of empowered, informed birth.
“This was my first pregnancy and I was keen to prepare myself as much as possible for birth, not really knowing what to expect. When looking into antenatal courses I stumbled across Simply Natal and Hypnobirthing, it was something I had heard mentioned before as a positive way to prepare for birth but not something I really knew much about. Reading through what the course entailed I liked the balance of practical learning and mindfulness that it contained and the emphasis on partners being actively involved not passive participants in birth. I signed us up for the November course and I can honestly say it was the best decision I made for myself and my family.
Shortly after we completed the course, at 27 weeks pregnant, I took the Glucose Tolerance Test and was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. The result was both unexpected and devastating for me, I had no real understanding of what it was except that it suddenly categorised my pregnancy as ‘High Risk’. I was suddenly under consultant led care, there were more risks to myself and the baby, I had to adapt my diet and the home birth that my husband and I had decided we’d like to pursue seemed a fast retreating dream.
It was during my first week of diagnosis that I realised how important the tools I had been given in the Hypnobirthing course were. I understood what my rights were in terms of making decisions about my care pathway and where to find the best sources for unbiased information on the condition and the associated risks. I also had the support of our teacher (Sheryl Wynne) who had also had a GD pregnancy and was a rock throughout the remainder of my pregnancy. The mindfulness scripts which we practiced nightly gave me confidence in myself and my own decision-making capacity and I leaned heavily on the decision-making framework we had been introduced to during the course. I was also amazingly fortunate to have a community Midwife who was supportive of a home birth and happy to play things by ear depending on how the later stage scans and my control of the diabetes went.
Fast forward 11 weeks; I had managed to maintain control of my diabetes through diet alone and my additional scans were all showing the baby was developing fine. I had found out in the new year that there would be a dedicated homebirth team launching for our trust that my community midwife (Michelle Wilmott) was part of and who were happy to support my home birth decision. We had hired a pool through a local community scheme and were all ready to go whenever our baby chose to arrive. That Monday at exactly 38 weeks I lost part of my mucus plug and started experiencing period like pains and getting back ache, being my first pregnancy I wasn’t sure but I felt like this was the early stages of labour and my baby would arrive this week.
I had a scan the following day and it showed the abdominal circumference had tailed off a bit, but that placenta function was normal. I was offered an induction straight away but given the cramps and further loss of plug and how active my baby was I felt the best decision would be to do nothing, to wait and see how things progressed. I agreed to further scans at 39 and 40 weeks and agreed to call triage if anything changed in terms of my baby’s movements. The next 24 hours were difficult, I took a second day off work to see if anything would happen (it didn’t) and had to work hard on not second guessing myself. In the end I decided to go back into work on the Thursday and carry on as normal, turns out this was what I needed to kick things off!
I woke up feeling fine and strangely wasn’t experiencing any of the aches and pains I had felt previously during the week. The morning was busy, spent catching up on work from the two days I had been off and I felt completely normal. I had an appointment midday with my community midwife, a combination of the 38 week check and a catch up on the scan results and consultant appointment. My husband and I share a car as we work together and I remember thinking as I started the drive up to my GP ‘it would be sod’s law if I went into labour now when I’ve got the car back near home and my husband is at work’. Never doubt Sod’s law! I arrived at the GP and went to take a urine sample for the appointment, there was another large amount of plug and as I bent to pick up the sample container, I felt a ‘pop’ in my pelvis. There was no gush of liquid (although I did experience some later when I was being palpitated to check baby’s position) but I did have my first proper contraction immediately afterwards and had to use the up breathing techniques for the first time. We discussed it during my appointment and my midwife wasn’t sure whether it was my waters breaking, but she was on call that evening, and she told me to text her if things started to progress.
I didn’t feel anything further until I parked the car back outside work, almost as soon as I put the hand break on I got another strong contraction. I spoke to my husband and we decided to wait for an hour and see what happened in case it was a false alarm. Fifteen minutes later I had had a further 3 strong contractions and I told my husband I was in labour and we needed to leave now. From that point things ramped up very quickly, by the time we’d made the half hour journey home my contractions were averaging 45 seconds long and about 5-6 minutes apart. I started running a bath as soon as I got in and my husband took our dog out for a walk. I phoned triage to let them know I was in labour and as I wasn’t sure if my waters had broken they asked me to come in to be checked. I wasn’t comfortable with going in and phoned my husband, he said to wait and see how I felt by the time he got back before making any decisions.
He got back twenty minutes later and by this point my contractions were all over a minute long and now were about 3 minutes apart. I told him there was no way I was sitting in a car for 20 minutes and then waiting round to be checked, I needed a midwife here now. My husband made the calls to get someone out to attend and started setting up the birth pool. It was around two and a half hours since I’d arrived back at work and the intensity was rapidly increasing. I got out the bath as I felt the need to move around and I knew to trust my instincts. I tried to keep the breathing techniques in mind and breath through each surge but they were so powerful I growled at my husband to make the midwife hurry up with the gas and air despite being adamant I wouldn’t use pain relief. I managed the surges by calling for my Husband whenever they hit, grabbing his shirt and growling through them while he rubbed my back; in-between I paced up and down the living room. The whole experience felt animalistic and raw, if ever there was something innately natural it was this, I just had to trust my body and my instincts.
The first midwife arrived just before 5pm and my waters completely broke as I kneeled on all fours in the living room waiting for the pool to fill. We had set up the living room with dim lights and lots of fairy lights to make it feel comfortable and safe for me. The midwife explained how the gas and air worked and I gave it a go but it quickly became clear to me that it wasn’t having much affect and I found it distracting. By this point the pool was full, I can’t describe the instant relief the warm water provided. My community midwife arrived around 5:30pm as the second midwife and it wasn’t long after this my surges changed. Instead of being intense tension I felt the urge to push, I mentioned this to the midwife and then focused inwardly on not resisting the urges. I didn’t consciously use any of the techniques at this point I just let my body take charge.
After a while I felt a burning sensation as the baby’s head started to pass through my cervix and I suddenly became more aware of my surroundings. It was like waking up from a dream as my focus changed from internal to external with the passing of my baby into the birth canal. The midwives were worried about the baby’s heart rate and I remember thinking that they probably wanted to transfer me but that I would never make it to the hospital before the baby arrived. They took my husband out the room to have a discussion with him, as per my birth plan. He came back and asked me if I’d let the midwives do an examination. I was relieved that he wasn’t explaining to me that I needed to transfer and by this point I could feel the head was completely through the cervix and knew I was on the final stretch. I agreed to it knowing it would just show them what I knew already; that our baby would be arriving imminently.
Getting out the pool while feeling the baby’s head in the birth canal was the weirdest sensation I have ever felt and involved a very John Wayne-esk walk! Sure enough as soon as I got in position for the exam the midwife looked and exclaimed that the head was right there and the baby was coming now. She asked me whether I was birthing in the pool or out and I hurried back into the pool for the final few pushes. Three long pushes later I felt my baby slip out into the water and I caught her, guiding her up out the water and onto my chest as I sat back against the side of the pool. I was fascinated with how small she was and in particular how tiny but perfectly formed her ears were. It didn’t occur to me to check the gender of our child immediately, it wasn’t until the midwife asked that I realised I still had no clue if we had a daughter or a son! We had a daughter, Evelyn, born at 6:45pm with her eyes wide open, only 5 hours after I arrived back at work and went into labour properly.
There are many things about the whole experience I didn’t appreciate until reflecting on it afterwards. At the time it felt like I used hypnobirthing very minimally, I felt like I forgot everything during the labour! In reality that was the farthest thing from the truth. The time I had spent with my husband and my community midwife discussing my birth plan and explaining my decisions meant that during the birth I wasn’t asked once about my preferences. The midwives let me carry on and only intervened as per my instructions which meant I was allowed to get into the perfect relaxed and focused mindset to deliver my baby. The scripts we had practiced allowed me to completely trust my instincts and follow my body’s ques instead of fighting the process. The knowledge I had gained on what to expect in each stage of labour helped me keep calm as I progressed through the various stages, I knew what was happening and what it meant, I was completely unafraid.
It wasn’t until later that my husband told me when the midwives had taken him in to the kitchen it had been to explain that they thought I still had hours to go and as they were the only two on call that night they wanted to leave and come back later. The hypnobirthing practice was so effective that I was quiet and calm as I pushed and they had no idea I was in the down stage of labour. I hadn’t thought to mention it more than once as I knew what was going on and was confident in following my body’s direction. It was the most empowering thing I have ever experienced; I have never been so confident in myself, so sure of my own power and capabilities. Trusting myself and not fighting the down stage of labour meant that Evelyn was born without any tears to myself, only a few grazes and I felt comfortable going out for a walk with the dog only 48 hours later. I can’t imagine how my birth could have gone any better or been any more amazing, it has been one of the most positive experiences of my life.”
Not everyone gets the birth they visualise like Lexi, but your chances are much improved when you are informed and confident. And a positive birth is still entirely possible even when things don’t go to plan. If you deserve an empowering birth (you do) then look at our courses here.
If your birth was very different to how you expected it to be then you can be left with feelings of grief and trauma, please know that there is support out there if you have found yourself triggered by this positive story. Search for the Birth Trauma Association, Unfold your Wings, and if you are local to Wakefield join my group Wakefield Perinatal Trauma Support on Facebook.
Finally, if you would like to share your birth story to help others see that birth can be positive no matter what happens please get in touch.
