My very good friend Katie has given me permission to share her birth stories. It is absolutely possible to have an empowered and positive birth experience, wherever you give birth, but giving birth at home has so many benefits that it should be considered seriously before being ruled out. Here she shares her hospital birth with her first baby and her home birth with her second baby.
“My first baby was born at hospital. I had thought about having a home birth but as it was my first baby my husband and I decided we would go to hospital.
My birth experience was overall really good. The midwives I had whilst I laboured were absolutely fantastic and I felt very well cared for. My son was born at 5pm. The two midwives I’d had all day went off shift as soon as they had finished with me and from that point on it went slightly downhill.
I was eager to get home with my new baby and sleep in my own bed. But a midwife that came into discharge me suggested I stay in overnight as I was struggling to feed. She went off to sort out a bed and as soon as she left the room he latched on and fed away. She was gone for quite a while and when she came back the bed was all sorted and she promised me we would be discharged first thing in the morning so we just went with the flow.
My husband went home and baby and me were shown to our bed for the night. I was on a six bed ward with just a curtain between me and all the other women and new babies. I was anxious every time he cried, worried about disturbing the other women and their babies. The ward was full so there were five other new mums and babies with just a piece of fabric between us all. Not a single wink of sleep was had.
The next morning my husband was back first thing. We waited and we waited and we waited to be discharged. I still hadn’t showered since giving birth and hadn’t had any sleep since two nights before. We were hanging on waiting for his hearing to be checked. We were told the ladies doing the tests had gone on their lunch. Two hours later they still hadn’t returned to the ward so we discharged ourselves. (I took him back for his hearing test a few days later). I had been assured the night before I would be discharged first thing in the morning. It was 2pm before we left that ward.
Finally after two nights and two days in hospital I was getting to go home! I couldn’t wait to get into my own environment and bond with my new baby.”
Like many of us, reflecting back on her first experience, Katie had identified what she wanted to be different this time.
“The second time around I was adamant I was having my home birth. My husband still wasn’t keen but I dragged him along to a home birth session with the community midwife team and I put my foot down. At 37 weeks we picked up the birthing pool in preparation of the imminent arrival and we waited..... and we waited.... and we waited....
At 40 weeks the baby still hadn’t made an appearance and there were no signs that she was going to do so anytime soon. At my final midwife appointment I was told could go 10 days over but after that I would be booked in for an induction and my home birth would be out of the window. I started to get a little bit panicked but on the 9th day she decided it was time to make an appearance.
One of my lasting impressions of my first birth was the feeling of not being comfortable and at ease after the birth, I wasn’t offered a shower and everyone always seemed too busy to ask to help with that. My baby and I spent our first night away from Daddy in a strange environment. I wanted that to be different this time around. I had everything planned out. I had envisaged climbing into my own nice comfy, fresh bed after baby was born so I had clean bedding ready to be put on. And some nice new comfy PJs ready to wear after birth.
I had woken up at 3am with cramping and I could tell it was the start of something. I got up and went downstairs so I didn’t disturb my husband, put on the TV and bounced away on my birth ball. An hour or so later the pains all went off so I went back to bed to get some sleep. I rang the community team number the next morning and they told me to call back if the contractions started again. That morning I carried on as normal. I decided to strip my son’s bed. I clearly remember pegging his sheets on the line and the contractions starting up again. By lunch time they were back and I knew for sure it was labour. At around 1pm they got to the point where I couldn’t speak whilst I was having a contraction so my son went off to his grandmas.
A Midwife rang to check on me at 2pm and she decided it was best to come out and see me. She came about an hour later and didn’t leave! I had assumed I would labour for quite a while and baby wouldn’t be born until the next day but she told me she knew she’d be home for her tea. That made me feel really positive. An end was in sight!
She sat in the living room with me and my husband all afternoon. It was very relaxed and calm. I puffed away on the gas and air and he watched the football. The midwife sat quietly and didn’t intrude at all. It was a hot day so the patio doors were open and I could hear the neighbours sat in their garden chatting away and enjoying the last of the summer. It was so calm and relaxed. At around 5pm the midwife suggested I got into the pool and the second midwife turned up as did my mum.
I loved the birthing pool. I had wanted a water birth the first time around but it never happened. As soon as I sunk my heavy bump under the warm water I felt an instant relief. I was on my knees leaning forward on the side of the pool. This position really helped and was definitely a contrast to being laid on my back with my legs in the air!!! I carried on with the gas and air, squeezing the hands of my husband and listened to my body.
During my first labour I’d had pethidine. It certainly helped with the pain but what I didn’t realise at the time was it stopped me from being able to feel where the baby was. This time around I could feel where she was in my pelvis. With each push I felt her getting lower. There were even a few pushes where I felt her go higher up which was quite frustrating! I hadn’t had that the first time around and relied on the midwives telling me how much of the head they could see. This time around they didn’t even look. One of the midwives asked me at one point to lean back so she could look but when I did the pain became so much more intense. I had got into my most comfortable position and I wasn’t moving for anyone!
Eventually after what felt like a life time of pushing with all the energy I had, my little baby girl slipped out and was curled up in the bottom of the pool. It was 6.48pm. I was in a bit of disbelief and the midwife had to tell me she had been born. It was an instant relief. I sat back and picked her up and put her to my chest. We sat together in the pool for quite a while. It was wonderful.
Eventually we got out. One of the midwives did all her checks on baby and the other attended to me.
By 8pm the midwives had left. My husband and my mum had the task of emptying the pool and I sat back and watched them whilst feeding my tiny baby. It was quite a surreal experience! My mother in law, my dad and my sister in law all popped in for a quick visit and by 10pm I was tucked up in my lovely fresh sheets with my baby feeding away and my husband at my side. What an amazing feeling!
